I don’t believe in new year’s resolutions. I think that we tend to create unreasonable goals for ourselves that are absolute in nature and therefore lead us to failure. I think that we focus too much on the outcome as oppose to the process, and I think that if we were serious about our goals we would start working towards them immediately, not wait for the calendar to flip.
As the new year approaches and 2018 comes to an end, I see people posting about their new year’s resolutions and goals for the year to come. I see a lot of weight loss resolutions, diet resolutions and promises to make this year your healthiest one yet. To be completely transparent with you guys, I see this as damaging and rather stupid.
Here is why.
We, as a society, are not so good at setting goals for ourselves
We create these unrealistic expectations and swear to achieve these resolutions by January 1st of the coming year. I think people forget that setting goals is not about the end result but about how you get there in the first place. When our goals are not attained right away we devalue ourselves, lessen our self-worth and perception and create feelings of uneasiness and anxiety. We really just start our year off with the belief that we are failures. Resolutions tend to focus on the outcome instead of the journey and this is an extremely damaging process.
We are not meant to be successful each and every day
There are going to be days when we step on a scale and see a number we don’t want to see, regardless of whether you’re successful with your 7-day per week workout resolutions. There are going to be days when you find yourself stuck in bed, sick with the flu and cannot attend the gym or cook real food. There are going to be inevitable bouts of stress that lead to acne, depression, fatigue, all the things holding you back from your goals. People forget that life is going to happen and it is going to get in the way of who you are trying to become. Life is about overcoming these obstacles, learning from them and allowing them to shape the strong people I know you guys are. Stop believing that these obstacles are failures.
We create resolutions based on things we don’t like about who we are
We focus on things we wish were different, changes we can make to create what we have decided makes us worthy. Negative emotions do not help us to create positive change.
Here is how I am kicking off 2019
Pick a word
Pick a word that sets an intention. Use a word that applies to all areas of your life. I chose the word, align. For 2019, I want to create alignment in my life. Instead of saying that I want to lose weight, balance my hormones, reduce my stress levels, do better in school, go out with my friends more, drink less coffee and more water, I will set these intentions by using one, single word, align. I have sticky notes of this word on mirrors in my home, in my agenda and blogging planner, on my laptop and in my phone so that I am constantly striving for alignment in all areas of my life. I understand that not all days will be perfect, most days may feel messy and chaotic, in fact, and that is okay. Alignment is about finding that balance, working towards positive outcomes and rewarding myself for the small successes.
Become more grateful
Maybe 2018 was not your best year or maybe it was. Either way, finding the good in your year allows you to see more beauty in the coming years. It sets a positive intention for your life and on what’s to come. I have come very far this year. I look back to 2017 and I am so incredibly thankful of where I am today. 2017 taught me some harsh lessens and 2018 taught me that I was strong enough to fight through them. I am grateful for 2018.
If you set goals for yourself, start them right now
Don’t wait until new year’s day to begin. When I set my goal to lose weight a few years back, I had quit eating gluten on Christmas day (the same day I decided I was going to try it). If I had waited for new year’s day when all the Christmas cookies were gone, and the holiday season was over, I don’t know if I would have been successful.
Don’t start 2019 off on the wrong foot. There is no such thing as “new year, new me” and that is a good thing. You are the same person you’ve always been but just a little wiser. Set good intentions, be grateful for how your current life is going and start working towards being a better you, today!
Everything that has happened in your life has led you to this moment. Thank you for reading.
thebutterflyeffectblog.org & @thefedupthyroid